BERIGAN

I have tried on and off to write this since Wednesday, but with phone calls, people stopping by, and taking care of my Dad, it is a jumbled mess of thoughts...forgive me... My Mom Died Tuesday Morning. As you may recall, Mom had been battling Stage 4 Cancer for 2 years,(Tumor was spotted on MRI 8 months earlier, but heart specialist didn't bother to read the radiologists report) had Pneumonia since March and had been in the hospital 3 times in March, May, and June. Mom never got off oxygen, and once brought home 6 weeks ago, never was able to leave her room. Just couldn't push up enough for us to get put her in a wheelchair even. Doctors wanted us to put her in a nursing home, or rehab center. Dad checked out one rehab place that was recommended,(before we knew the Cancer had spread everywhere) and there was a waiting list for a single room, one TV for 2 people, and they kept it 80+ degrees for the older folks, which would have driven Mom insane. Mom didn't want that anyway, she wanted to be with her "Boys" and our 4 cats. Dad and I were going to make one of her wishes go her way for a change. We had tried several alternative meds since she could no longer physically take Chemo or radiation, but they didn't slow the Cancer down one bit. . Mom was always a good sized woman, tall and skinny, then tall and heavy(Diabetes, a bad back, atrial fibrillation and Charcot's joint disease in her feet, made exercise all but impossible the last 4 years) with lots of water retention issues. We tried to move her in her regular bed, but we soon found out how hard 275+ pounds is to move when they can't help. Finally had to get a hospital bed for her, so we could pull her up in bed better(She couldn't sleep laying flat for quite some time, always slept sitting up, and would slide down during the day) 3 weeks ago, her Kidney's shut down, a sign that the 1-2 years the Oncologist had mentioned in the hospital back in June wasn't realistic at that point. Her best friend came out that night,(She too had Cancer, but it was caught early) it looked to be the end. We cried a lot, stayed up all night. But the next morning, the Kidney's were working again, and she was talking! Even Mom was wondering why she was still around. For selfish reasons, I was glad she was still here, but she was in more and more pain from the tumors all over her body. I knew it was time for her to go. We thought we could avoid Hospice(Hospice sales person in the hospital left us cold to say the least) but Mom's home care nurse recommended a different one(There are 21 different ones in Atlanta alone) had to do it for the pain meds. Mom was clearly going downhill, harder to understand what she was saying, but she snapped out of it one day to sign power of attorney, and last will paperwork(Funny what you forget to do till it is almost too late) A week ago Monday, the Hospice nurse listened to her heart and lungs and said this was it....she was more or less unconscious at this point. Cried some more, held her hand...and waited....Well, Another Hospice nurse came out Saturday because her breathing was so poor and we felt so helpless(Couldn't get her to swallow anymore) she tried her best to calm things down(She was the best nurse, truly an angel of mercy-I could never do what she does) Mom would move around a lot, as if she was in pain....the Nurse gave us a mask to give liquid Morphine through a nebulizer. Listening to her heartbeat, and full lungs this more experienced Hospice nurse said she had 24 hours, maybe 48 at most. Mom must have had a strong a constitution as anyone because she Made it about 60 hours. I must have walked into her room 80 times in the last few weeks wondering if she was still going to be alive...my Dad did as well...that's tough. It's tough to see someone you love with all your heart in pain, and not able to tell you what was bothering them. We know she is in a much better place, not in pain anymore, and that really does comfort us, at least right now....Some days are worse than others, I went into Barnes and Noble yesterday, and I see books on King Tut(Mom had gotten into Egyptology stuff in the last several years-till her eyesight got too bad to read up on it) Can't shop without seeing things she would like/want...I am sure we are not the first to have this problem....going into her room of course there are many things that remind us of her. Mom's paperback Mysteries she loved, (Agatha, Dick Francis, etc) DVD sets we got her, Columbo, Magnum, Sherlocks with Basil Rathbone....what made Mom, Dad and I had gotten Mom a fair number of Classical cds in last 10 years as well.....she couldn't even put them on for herself the last 6 months or so.....They will just collect dust for now....It's weird in a way how a life that ends just seems to end in mid sentence, so much more to do..she and Dad never got to go on a trip to Ireland as they wanted to after retirement...even though she worked for Delta, we never made it to her hometown of Seaside Oregon. I was going to buy a camcorder after she was diagnosed with Cancer to record her talking about family history she only knew, but was afraid it would make Mom think I thought she wouldn't pull through. Wish I had gotten it now. Everyone's Mom is special of course, but I feel such a debt of gratitude to Mom. She sacrificed a lot so she could have her weekends free to spend with me as a kid. We had a lot of fun....it was worth it to her, even if it meant not going as far up the latter at Delta as she should have. Even though I didn't want to as a kid, if someone gave me too much change, Mom said give it back, that person could lose their job over it...so now, if it happens today, or I find an item in the basket when I get out to the car, I Have to go back in to pay for it. Mom would notice if I changed towards people, if I was acting out of character...no one can be completely without prejudice, but as the Aids epidemic got worse in the 80's I remember a waiter who was more than likely gay, bringing us food with his thumb on the plate and I said something after he left about getting aids from him (I knew that wasn't possible, just being mean) and mom immediately saying that I had always been fair to people in the past, why was I being mean to this person? Slap! I realized I was being an asshole.... Before I forget, I want to thank everyone through the past 2 years who have said a kind word, or asked how my Mom was doing in a PM(Johnny just asked how things were going a few weeks ago) a Few who have been going through the trials and tribulations of Cancer were quick to give me their best advice....Most of all, I have to thank Maren for the time she put in researching Cancer treatment centers, or helping me with figuring out what the hell Serratia liquefaciens was.... Finally, anyone that smokes on this board(Mom quit in the 70's but if I am to believe 2 of Mom's doctors, it still could have been a contributing factor) give those stupid fucking things up!!! Put the money you save into a Mosaic box set fund...and be around to listen to them....trust me, some people have Cancer, and have a "good" death, Mom's was not in any way shape or form a good death, and you would not want to put loved ones through what we went through..... Conrad.

I hope the 58 former drummers of Pearl Jam will be inspired by this lawsuit, and will force 'em to change their name to Oyster Marmalade.

I guess then his favorite song was NOT Blue Turning Grey Over You

No, just forgetful of stuff I have photographed, and find other things I snapped in the past. Hang tight, I am about to post a series of the most interesting dust bunnies I have ever photographed!

I'd say your right! Thanks. Seems they are usually only out at night...they only live a week it says on that site.

Or not....

From inside....

Hey man, don't strain yourself! Just squint, it works to do that as well!

Yeah, but where you're going, they ain't got indoor plumbing....

Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll fix it yet!!!!!!!! There....it doesn't work if you see it as an attachment...

Well, and I think O Canada is gay...perhaps they can marry each other....up in Canada.

Hockey Fans???? Are there still some of them?

Didn't realize that "Asian" was a more encompassing description that it is in the U.S.....someone from Pakistan wouldn't be called an Asian over here....

and a mosque is surrounded as well! Don't know if it was a bomb threat, or what.... http://www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/news/to..._surrounded.php

Somehow, we have avoided the real heat that the rest of the country has experienced, but damn is it huuummmmiiiiddd! (Where is the sweating smiley anyway?) Now, we are going to be in the mid 90's the next week, and with it raining EVERY single afternoon(Today we must have gotten 2 inches) we will have to be about the most miserable place to live in the U.S.

Ummm, no....it's terrible IMHO.

If you want something done, do it yourself Berigan! Googling dug up this site with links to many a rumor....(The headline is the story link, took me a minute to figure that one out! ) http://www.prosportsdaily.com/mlb/mlbrumors.html

Yeah, but ain't that why we stick with baseball, cuz we rarely never know in July who is going to win it all? The Yankees and Red Sox look to have a lot of holes this year...IF Sosa ever comes around (His home run swing yesterday looked like he had fixed what has been broken all year) and the Orioles get an A.J. Burnett or Beckett, they may be the team to win the East.... Has anyone else noticed that ESPN.com has quietly put most of it's baseball content behind the Insider portion(Pay in other words) of their site? Gammons is there now as well. I hate to pay for something that was free before, but the Altanta paper has done the same thing with almost all their baseball content, may have to bite the bullet...any good free baseball sites out there???

How are the Val Lewton movies with Boris Karloff? ← I have only seen Body Snatcher,(Just checked allmovie.com, and all 3 Karloff/Lewton films were made in 1945!) but it is an excellent film!(My favorite Karloff film is the little known "The Walking Dead") Karloff, is just mesmerizing, just amazingly creepy! Here is a blurb from allmovie about Body Snatcher, but see the film, don't go there and have the ending spoiled! Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi were given top billing in the Val Lewton-produced The Body Snatcher, but the film's protagonist is played by Henry Daniell. A brilliant 18th century London surgeon, Daniell can only make his humanitarian medical advances by experimenting on cadavers, which is strictly illegal. Karloff plays a Uriah Heep-type cabman who is secretly a grave robber, providing corpses for Daniell's research. ← Well, I am digging up this post since I just saw that the Karloff film "The Walking Dead" is on late on the 22nd (or early on the 23rd) on Turner! 4:45 A.M., EST. Just 66 minutes long, and directed by Michael Curtis, give it a chance dammit!

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday!!!

What? I have to be the one to mention that the Yankees are back in first place? Well, they are...... Did anyone see that poor dear baby Kenny Rogers having to control his rage as another camera focused on him today? He sooo wanted to push the camera off the cameraman's shoulder, but the guy was only half a foot shorter than Kenny, not a full foot shorter, so he didn't this time....

China to send pig sperm to space (bet you didn't guess that!) Scientists hope to study the effect of cosmic rays on the pig sperm China is planning to study the effects of space on sperm, by sending the semen from pedigree pigs into orbit. Some 40 grams of pig sperm will be taken on board the Shenzhou VI spacecraft for its October launch. Some of the sperm will be kept outside the spacecraft's biological capsule and some inside, according to China's Xinhua news agency. Surviving sperm will be returned to Earth and used to understand better the processes involved in pig reproduction. The pigs chosen are a breed called Rongchang, named after an area in the southwest of the country and famed for their physique and for the quality of their meat. Agricultural experts hope to use the sperm to fertilise pig eggs back on Earth - to see what effect a period of microgravity will have had on the sperm's activity. China's first manned spaceflight two years ago made it the third country able to launch a human into space on its own, along with Russia and the United States. During the upcoming mission, two astronauts will orbit the planet five or six times. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4690651.stm

Congrats! You are like every 80 year old in the world.