spouse or significant other "code words"

[Rooster_Ties]

When my wife says "whatever" to me (usually with a dismissive look, and a roll of the eyes) -- I've discovered that usually means "shut up!"

BUT, when she out 'n' out tells me to "shut up!" -- that almost always means "why yes, dear, of course, you're absolutely right!". (She doesn't agree with this translaton, by the way, but it nearly always is true! )

What does your spouse or significant other say to you, that could stand some "translation" for those not in the know??

Edited February 2, 2008 by Rooster_Ties

[danasgoodstuff]

be happy to tell you, as son as I figure out what she's saying...

[Quincy]

"Maybe we could" means either "I would like us to..." or "We should." They both result in the same thing, just one takes on a greater sense of urgency.

[Bright Moments]

from the web:

An explanation to help you understand ‘woman-speak’ :

FINE: This is the word she uses to end an argument when she feels she is right and you need to shut up. Never use "Fine" to describe how she looks as this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It’s equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING: This actually means something and you should be on your toes. It’s usually used to describe the feeling she has of wanting to turn you inside out and upside down. It usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine."

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows): This is a dare, one that will result in her getting upset over "Nothing" and end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows): This means ‘I give up’ or ‘do what you want because I don't care.’ You’ll get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she’ll talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. It means that she thinks you’re an idiot at that moment and wonders why she’s wasting her time standing there and arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH: Again, this is a nonverbal statement, not a word and means that she’s content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe and she’ll stay content.

THAT'S OK: This is one of the most dangerous statements that she can make to you and means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you’ve done. It’s often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD: At some point in the near future, you’re going to be in some serious trouble.

PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it’s an offer. She is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you’ve done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's OK."

THANKS: She is thanking you. Don’t faint. Just say ‘you're welcome.’

THANKS A LOT: This is very different to "Thanks." She will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she’s really ticked off at you. It signifies that you’ve offended her in some callous way and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she will only tell you "Nothing."

[Chuck Nessa]

Not words but "tone" get me in trouble. Hers and mine I should add.

[Tom 1960]

My wife tells me when I start saying "uh huh' it means I'm not really interested in what she's saying.

Edited February 3, 2008 by Tom 1960

[Chuck Nessa]

uh huh

[Tom 1960]

uh huh

Thanks Chuck!

[Chas]

Not words but "tone" get me in trouble.

Then seems to me you'd be better off speaking instead of singing....

For inter-gender communication , being in the same room helps . If not , then it's time to break out the flashcards with the smilies on them .

[paul secor]

When I hear the words, "Paul, honey", I know I don't want to hear what follows.

[Chuck Nessa]

When I hear the words, "Paul, honey", I know I don't want to hear what follows.

So, she doesn't want you to get the honey and pour it on her?

[paul secor]

When I hear the words, "Paul, honey", I know I don't want to hear what follows.

So, she doesn't want you to get the honey and pour it on her?

[Dan Gould]

I am beginning to suspect that "sweetie" no longer carries its former meaning.

[Tim McG]

I am beginning to suspect that "sweetie" no longer carries its former meaning.

Depends.

Do you mean it?

I do.

[Jim Alfredson]

I learned quickly that when my wife says "we", she means me. For example: "We should get those dishes done before lunch," means I should do the dishes.

[Jazzmoose]

I know that "Do what you think is right" has an unspoken addition that goes something along the lines of "and if it isn't what I think is right, I'll make your life a living hell."

Though frankly, I'm still at the point where I'd love to hear some of those "code words" just one more time...

[Tom Storer]

When she wants to rearrange some aspect of life (furniture, routines, whatever) and I voice reservations, if she smiles lovingly and says, "We'll just try it this way for a while and see," it means "You'd better get used to it because I will not budge an inch on this."

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

When she wants to rearrange some aspect of life (furniture, routines, whatever) and I voice reservations, if she smiles lovingly and says, "We'll just try it this way for a while and see," it means "You'd better get used to it because I will not budge an inch on this."

Yes!

(And who has all the fun of moving the furniture?)

MG

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

I learned quickly that when my wife says "we", she means me. For example: "We should get those dishes done before lunch," means I should do the dishes.

It doesn't seem to work the other way round, however. A while back, I said that we ought to defrost the old freezer, in the garage, which doesn't do itself, so we should try to run the contents down. But after every week's shopping, there'd be more to go in there! We managed to do it last week, by using almost everything over Christmas!

MG

[Dan Gould]

I joke about what "sweetie" means but the fact is I read this thread and I am so grateful that my wife does none of the manipulative, controlling (yet seemingly passive) shit that other people are talking about. Apparently she really is one in a million.

[Free For All]

Though frankly, I'm still at the point where I'd love to hear some of those "code words" just one more time...

I'm with you 100% on this point, Mark. I miss my wife every day.

I can't help but think I missed some clues (aka "code words") along the way that might have helped to save my marriage. I always preferred the direct approach to communication, you know, "tell me what's on your mind and please don't make me guess" but it seems that's not the way it works. I always tried to be sensitive/considerate to what she was thinking/feeling, but I obviously failed in this miserably. I put a lot into making that relationship work, and the way it disintegrated so quickly has left me questioning whether I have the ablilty to be in a relationship at all.

[Alexander]

from the web:

An explanation to help you understand ‘woman-speak’ :

FINE: This is the word she uses to end an argument when she feels she is right and you need to shut up. Never use "Fine" to describe how she looks as this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It’s equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING: This actually means something and you should be on your toes. It’s usually used to describe the feeling she has of wanting to turn you inside out and upside down. It usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine."

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows): This is a dare, one that will result in her getting upset over "Nothing" and end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows): This means ‘I give up’ or ‘do what you want because I don't care.’ You’ll get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she’ll talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. It means that she thinks you’re an idiot at that moment and wonders why she’s wasting her time standing there and arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH: Again, this is a nonverbal statement, not a word and means that she’s content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe and she’ll stay content.

THAT'S OK: This is one of the most dangerous statements that she can make to you and means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you’ve done. It’s often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD: At some point in the near future, you’re going to be in some serious trouble.

PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it’s an offer. She is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you’ve done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's OK."

THANKS: She is thanking you. Don’t faint. Just say ‘you're welcome.’

THANKS A LOT: This is very different to "Thanks." She will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she’s really ticked off at you. It signifies that you’ve offended her in some callous way and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she will only tell you "Nothing."

My wife once e-mailed this to me. She fully endorses it and claims that it has completely cracked her code. Now I watch my back whenever I ask her what's the matter and she replies, "Nothing."

[Jazzmoose]

Though frankly, I'm still at the point where I'd love to hear some of those "code words" just one more time...

I'm with you 100% on this point, Mark. I miss my wife every day.

I can't help but think I missed some clues (aka "code words") along the way that might have helped to save my marriage. I always preferred the direct approach to communication, you know, "tell me what's on your mind and please don't make me guess" but it seems that's not the way it works. I always tried to be sensitive/considerate to what she was thinking/feeling, but I obviously failed in this miserably. I put a lot into making that relationship work, and the way it disintegrated so quickly has left me questioning whether I have the ablilty to be in a relationship at all.

I hear you. I told her I was about as observant as a rock, and that a 2X4 upside the head would work a lot better than subtle hints, but I guess that wasn't good enough.

My guess is that our relationships didn't disintegrate as fast as we think, and that warning signs were there; we just weren't sharp enough to spot them. But what do I know?

[Jazzmoose]

I joke about what "sweetie" means but the fact is I read this thread and I am so grateful that my wife does none of the manipulative, controlling (yet seemingly passive) shit that other people are talking about. Apparently she really is one in a million.

Damn, she's good!!!

(Just a joke, Dan!!)

[papsrus]

"I was thinking, and I was only thinking ..."

(Any thought prefaced by this phrase means she really, really wants to do it. But we both realize that. It's not subtle or possible to misunderstand at all. It's usually accompanied by a certain giddiness and/or reference materials like catalogs.)

Here's one thing we really don't have that I wish we did. We don't have one of those secret signals (other than long, blank stares where the eyes gradually grow wider and wider as the head slowly tilts to one side) that signifies "It's time to leave this dreadful party." ... I think the reason for this is, she likes parties much more than I do.