Portraits of the dying

[Van Basten II]

http://lensculture.com/schels.html

[Alexander]

Nothing to add...

[7/4]

...intense, sad, but real. I know a couple of people that are dying.

.

[connoisseur series500]

...intense, sad, but real. I know a couple of people that are dying.

I see people dying and in some cases just dead in the hospital. You get used to it and do your job.

[7/4]

well, yeah...not all of us do.

.

[mikeweil]

We have that book - my wife and I had a lot to do with dying people, both our mothers died within a short time, and several of the handicapped clients she works with. She wrote a thesis on the accompaniment of dying people for her exams, I proofread it and researched some of the literature, so we both know a few things about it.

I don't find it sad - death is part of life, and if you have confidence in life after death, life before death can be hard to take, especially if you have to die in pain, but it can be endured.

It's a great book, I highly recommend it. Actually the accompanying texts are more consolation than anything else.

[Dan Gould]

...intense, sad, but real. I know a couple of people that are dying.

My older brother has just informed me that he believes next Christmas will be his last. After a lengthy, mysterious illness, he was finally diagnosed with several different progressive, debilitating, incurable diseases. I've been dealing with the implications of his diagnosis since Christmas but this is the first he's made reference to a time frame.

[BERIGAN]

...intense, sad, but real. I know a couple of people that are dying.

My older brother has just informed me that he believes next Christmas will be his last. After a lengthy, mysterious illness, he was finally diagnosed with several different progressive, debilitating, incurable diseases. I've been dealing with the implications of his diagnosis since Christmas but this is the first he's made reference to a time frame.

Dan, very sorry to hear that! I hope he is wrong about this....My Mom was diagnosed with stage 4 Cancer in the summer of 2003. We thought that would be the last Christmas. Strange to buy gifts for someone that might only have them a few months....then the Cancer went into remission, and when Christmas 2004 came around, it didn't seem like the last one...which it was. You just never know.

[seeline]

We have that book - my wife and I had a lot to do with dying people, both our mothers died within a short time, and several of the handicapped clients she works with. She wrote a thesis on the accompaniment of dying people for her exams, I proofread it and researched some of the literature, so we both know a few things about it.

I don't find it sad - death is part of life, and if you have confidence in life after death, life before death can be hard to take, especially if you have to die in pain, but it can be endured.

It's a great book, I highly recommend it. Actually the accompanying texts are more consolation than anything else.

I would really like to find a copy of this... having lost some family members and friends over the past few years, I think it actually might be a kind of "healing" thing, in many ways.

And those portraits - of living models as well as the post-mortem shots - are really beautiful and sensitively, respectfully done. (I used to have to deal with post-mortem portraits on an irregular basis, for a job I once had, and believe me, the ones shown on the website are light years better than the kinds of paintings and photos that were common at one time - though in many cases, these images were the only likenesses *ever* taken of those who had died.)

And Mike, your wife's thesis sounds very interesting.

Edited July 4, 2008 by seeline

[mikeweil]

Seems the book is only available in German language:

Here's a link to amazon.de - no idea whether that helps.

Likewise my wife's thesis is in German ...

What I find most revealing in those photos is the expression of relief in the faces - the same I saw in my mother's face after she passed away. Very moving.

Edited July 5, 2008 by mikeweil

[seeline]

Thank you, Mike! Unfortunately, German has always been a very difficult language for me, so my reading ability is just about nil. (Though I can understand a tiny, tiny bit.)

I hope that arrangements can be made for the book to be translated into at least one other language, as it seems that it would be helpful to many, many people.

And, like you, I've been moved by the facial expressions shown in the photos. In some cases, it appears that the people suffered terribly up until the actual moment of death, though I may be guessing all wrong. (I'm thinking especially of the man with a beard and glasses who lived at the hospice for nearly two years...) I think in his case (and maybe one other?), there is a sense of relief...

Edited July 5, 2008 by seeline

[AllenLowe]

not for me, thanks - the shots of the dead are, to me, a violation of privacy - of both the dead and the mourners of the dead - too much for me - as though turning one more private thing into a public spectacle -

your mileage may vary, as the saying goes; hits too close to home for me -

[seeline]

My educated guess is that all of the people who were photographed were aware of - and chose to participate in - the project. At this point in time, I can't imagine a proejct of this kind being allowed to go forward unless the subjects were actively involved in the work.

There were some cases here in the US (60s and 70s) that established precedents for these kinds of works. (Frederick Wiseman's film Titicut Follies is one of the most well-known, with good reason, I think.)

I think the whole notion of being diagnosed with a critical illness is hard for anyone to contemplate, let alone dealing with the thought of one's death. The thing that really stood out for me (in looking at the site that Van Bastien linked to) was the place of peace - and of outright joy in small, everyday things - that many of the subjects spoke of.

Edited July 6, 2008 by seeline

[jazzbo]

Hits too close to me too.

Dan, very very sorry to read this.

[mikeweil]

Those photos were indeed made and exhibited and published with the depicted's consent, to enlive the discussion about the needs of dying people in our society, after many, many years of avoiding the subject. It is my wife's and my own experience (e.g. with my own mother) that the fear of dying comes from a severe lack of knowledge and public discussion of the process of dying. These specific photos violated nobody's privacy.

[AllenLowe]

Mike - wasn't meaning to imply that you had done anything wrong - though I might make the argument that even the consent of the dying does not necessarily make this a good thing -

but I do realize that this is an entirely personal thing -

[AllenLowe]

of course, I also liked Weekend at Bernie's -

[seeline]

Those photos were indeed made and exhibited and published with the depicted's consent, to enlive the discussion about the needs of dying people in our society, after many, many years of avoiding the subject. It is my wife's and my own experience (e.g. with my own mother) that the fear of dying comes from a severe lack of knowledge and public discussion of the process of dying. These specific photos violated nobody's privacy.

You know, this hits very close to home for me, too - one of my brothers died of cancer last fall. Which is why - in a sort of paradoxical way that I can't easily explain - I found the excerpts from this book (portraits of the subjects and interviews with them) to be comforting. Part of that comes from the words of many of the subjects, but it's also related to what can happen in a good hospice situation.

I'm not getting any younger, either, so... many of the models' observations on facing death, and on living while facing death, are encouraging to me.

Edited July 6, 2008 by seeline

[papsrus]

You often hear about how people who are facing the certainty of their own demise suddenly begin to experience life in some fuller sense -- as if all their senses are suddenly flung wide open and every commonplace experience becomes extraordinary. ... Now only if we could all realize this in some way. Maybe that's a small part of what this book is about?

I found the photographs to be quite revealing; the contrast (obviously) quite stark.

[seeline]

You often hear about how people who are facing the certainty of their own demise suddenly begin to experience life in some fuller sense -- as if all their senses are suddenly flung wide open and every commonplace experience becomes extraordinary. ... Now only if we could all realize this in some way. Maybe that's a small part of what this book is about?

Yes - like the scene in Thornton Wilder's "Our Town" where one of the characters asks to be allowed to live one day of her life over... and can't, because it's so overwhelming. (And because we're all so blind to the beauty of the everyday.)

Some of the people whose portraits are posted on the site spoke about this; seeing transcendent beauty in so many things, people and places that they would otherwise have missed.

For me personally, that is encouraging... and something that I hope I will be able to experience.

Here's a quote from Wolfgang Kotzahn -

"'I’m surprised that I have come to terms with it [my illness] fairly easily. Now I’m lying here waiting to die. But each day that I have I savour, experiencing life to the full. I never paid any attention to clouds before. Now I see everything from a totally different perspective: every cloud outside my window, every flower in the vase. Suddenly, everything matters.'"

Edited July 6, 2008 by seeline

[Willard]

I can add also that same effect gives aging. Old people say "I bless God for every new Day he gives me"

Edited July 6, 2008 by Willard

[mikeweil]

You often hear about how people who are facing the certainty of their own demise suddenly begin to experience life in some fuller sense -- as if all their senses are suddenly flung wide open and every commonplace experience becomes extraordinary. ... Now only if we could all realize this in some way. Maybe that's a small part of what this book is about?

Yes it is, and a rather important part!

[Chuck Nessa]

I can add also that same effect gives aging. Old people say "I bless God for every new Day he gives me"

Not all old people. I had to listen (for over a month) to my father bitching 'cause he hadn't died yet. He was not in pain. This shit is not easy.

[AllenLowe]

well, as long as I'm not in one of those books, I won't worry about it -