In which John Waters hitchhikes from his home in Baltimore to San Francisco. The book is divided into three sections: first, he imagines the best possible adventures this trip might bring; second, he imagines the worst possible adventures which might occur; third, he relates the trip as it actually happened. I'm in the first part now and it's quite entertaining as he imagines being picked up by (among others) a prison escapee being pursued by the police, a demolition derby driver who takes him along for the ride during a competition, an underground carnival in which he is put to work in the freak show as "The Man With No Tattoos", and in a very sweet chapter, he is picked up by Edith "Egg Lady" Massey, an iconic actress featured in several of Mr. Waters' films and who, in this account at least, faked her own death to escape the film world and now runs a second hand convenience store in Hermann, Missouri.