My kids used to stare bullets at me when I'd tell them that their work was bad, or that it was good, but not as good as they could do, so much so that when I told them that they were both bright enough that with just a littel more effort and foucus they could put out a log better quality of work. Their perrs' parent's always were all "oh, that's GOOD! I know you TRIED!" and they wondered why they couldn't get that at home. Well, becuase I love you and I'm preparing you for live away from home, that's why. You don't do this when they're tiny tots, ya' know, but when they start reaching the age where they start deciding to try to decide things for themselves, that's when you as a parent are called up to start setting expectations of what their best decisions could be. More often than not, they figure it out eventually.
Now, after a period of "settling", my son gets promotions on his jobs, and moves to better jobs every few years, and my daughter steps into every job she gets and distinguishes herself as "the smart one" who is a proactive problem solver. All of a sudden Dad's not a hardass, dad's just "crusty"
By the time they're my age, I'll be A Great Man!
Your children are long-term investments. They're not short-term acquaintances, they're not your buddies, they're not your playmates. They're gifts of life given to you to prepare to move the species along in some form or fashion. That takes work, and work ain't always pretty. But if you do it right, do it with love (lots pf love), and keep it real, the results can be beautiful.