Bill Nelson

"Listen kid, you ask too many questions. Keep it up and a cigarette machine might land on your fingers."

There's one Mercury LP,'Quincy Jones Explores the Music of Henry Mancini', where the liners extoll the sole arranging skills of Q. A keen look at the front cover will reveal, on the sheet music for 'Moon River' perched on a piano top, "Arr. Bill Byers" in small print under the large point upper-cased, "QUINCY JONES ORCH." (I'll bet a proofer from Mercury's art department was summoned to Q's office.) According to AMG, Byers was indentured to Quincy's right hand for five years at Mercury. No doubt it meant food on the Byers' family table and shoes for the kids. With Q in the position to 'make the call', Byers was eventually rewarded with his own album, 'Impressions of Duke Ellington', a swinging big band LP for the Mercury Perfect Presence Sound series.

According to Jay Leno, Elin took it down by herself with a 9-iron.

The owner of a record store in Anniston, AL, told me,"One of my best customers is running the Capitol label." Impressed by the prospect, I asked,"But does he have executive experience?"

Let's hope it was a friendly 'clean-out' and not an invasive 'transfer of title'.

And on New Years', let there be champagne for my real friends -- and pain for my 'sham' friends.

We can see which chain hired Nell after she ditched Dudley Do-Right. For a gal in her fifties, she still looks great.

I've scrubbed all of my 'potato heads' prior to peeling or baking. Haven't ever regretted it.

If you and I are crate-digging and you find anything by Buddy Collette, be my guest and "Merry Christmas".

PM sent on 'Modern Jazz Society'.

Would like to buy Modern Jazz Society but must first ask: still Paypal only? No cash or money orders?

As The Turbanator, I seem to have killed this clambake. Anyplace I Hang My Fez is Home. It's My Fez and I'll Cry If I Want To. I don't want to spoil the turban, so I'll go.

Just be glad your theater seat wasn't directly behind Lonnie's 'T'. Personally, I prefer a fez -- it's sporty, portable, and can get you into Shriner's events. Also, unlike the turban, the fez has crept its way into the Great American Songbook: 'I've Grown Accustomed To Your Fez' 'The Surrey With the Fez On Top' 'There Is No Greater Fez' 'The Shadow of Your Fez' 'Let's Fez the Music and Dance'

Let's face it -- there's a slew of record industry holdovers from previous decades who are still Grammy voters. A recording engineer and Grammy-voter recently admitted to me,"I don't know 90% of the nominees on the ballots."

Here's a track Van DePitte wrote and arranged. It only appears on the 'Let's Get It On' Deluxe Edition. It's much closer to one of his charts for 'What's Going On' but Mr. Gordy calls the shots. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iymz8f0yoFM

Seven years after the Summer of Love and you're in for a treat. Check the vocal chorus outro during the last 30 seconds. An homage to Bill Holman and Bones Howe?

If Miami signs Pujols and he gets injured again, maybe his contract will be 'retractable' like the roof.

Birthday tidings from your neighbor 60 miles to the east. When your new Afro-Klezmer CD is finished, please tour and play Athens!

I can hear Andy saying to St. Peter,"Did you ever wonder why...", and then reeling off a spiel of ponderables.

'OK, Billy' is just that ... OK. It's a TV studio band performing workmanlike charts. Nothing blazing here. When it came in as a promo, I found one or two passable tracks to spin on my FM jazz show.

In the words of 'Dandy' Don Meredith,"Turn out the lights, the party's over." Over for Detroit.

"I am not a number, I am a free man." And besides, they don't allow no honking sax in The Village.

One of the great CTI releases. 'Great Gorge' is a track best known by beat-heads. The buzz is justified, given the 11:43 of smoldering rhythm by Clarke and DeJohnette. Caveat: the Pete Turner photo montage is my nominee for CTI's most 'WTF' album cover.

Well spotted -- they airbrushed his cigarette along with his pussy.

For starters, I'd begin with the publicist. By passing along such a shoddy imprint, this publicist hardly repped the client.