Trip to the cemetery......

[catesta]

Since moving back to New York I've been able to again make regular visits to the cemetery.

I'm happy about that.

My grandfather was in the funeral home business so he made sure that everyone was set up properly.

Most of the family on my Father's side that immigrated to America are inturned there, as well as a sister of mine that passed when she was an infant.

It is also where my parents will be.

St. John Cemetery in Middle Village, Queens is a magnificent place if you've never seen it.

Yes it's filled with dead folks, I know, but the history and beauty is really something.

I often find myself looking at other monuments and wondering about the history of the people there.

Today I happened to notice a headstone that was engraved back in 1929 with the name of a man.

It also had his wife's name, but only the date she was born and not the date she passed. It made me think that she was not in the plot.

Also, the plot was in an area that typically has maybe 6 to 8 family members under one monument. There were no other names.

I couldn't help but to think how sad it was the man's wife did not get buried by him.

Is it possible she was and it never got marked?

Or, since he died in 1929 and she would have only been around 32 years of age, did she get re-married?

Who knows....

What I do know, is it appears that it all ended with him. No other family has been placed by him and it does not look as if anyone comes to visit.

If that is the case then I am most definitely sad for him. (Although, I 'm sure he doesn't know or mind)

It was my Grandfather who taught me the importance of keeping in touch with your history and never forget those before us.

I don't have the ability to visit my Mother's family often as they are all in Italy.

But here in NY I go now and pay my respects at least once a month. That is up from once every year or two while I was living in Phoenix.

I'm curious how many of us here keep that link with the past active or alive.

In other words, do you ever make a trip to the cemetery?

And yes, I have been drinking a little.

Edited January 21, 2006 by catesta

[JSngry]

Yeah, I go see my dad's grave from time to time. Not for him, or for anybody else, just for me.

It's not that the site itself is important, it's just a good focal point for reflection on things that I want/need to reflect upon.

[Jim Alfredson]

Nice thread, Chris. It is a good kick in the butt for me that I need to go visit my mom's grave. I have not done so since she was buried in December of 1997. I'm not sure why I haven't gone... I'm sure a psychologist would have a field day.

But that's a great new year's resolution for me. Thank you.

[connoisseur series500]

Both of my parents are still alive.

My grandparent's graves are buried under ash in the Caribbean island of Montserrat. When the volcano blew, a good part of the island was buried under a pyroclastic flow. Their graves were only a few miles from the soufriere volcano which had been inactive for at least 400 years.

On my Italian mother's side, her parents are buried in Scotland and in Italy. She visited her mother's grave last year in Scotland. Don't know where her father is buried in Italy, but it's likely to be in the Tuscany area.

I tend to visit the gravesites of non-family members...

[GA Russell]

I read a book last year called Purgatory and the Means to Avoid It by a French priest named Martin Jugie.

It was very moving, and one of the three best I read in 2005.

I've been praying for my parents and deceased relatives daily ever since.

[Joe G]

Nice thread, Chris. It is a good kick in the butt for me that I need to go visit my mom's grave. I have not done so since she was buried in December of 1997. I'm not sure why I haven't gone... I'm sure a psychologist would have a field day.

But that's a great new year's resolution for me. Thank you.

If you don't mind my asking, where is your mother buried?

[brownie]

Cemeteries are among the best places to get away from it all and reflect.

I do a lot of sightseeing around Paris these days and have made several stops lately at the Cimetiere Montparnasse.

A couple of dear friends are buried there.

That's also the final resting place for people like Charles Baudelaire, Chaim Soutine, Jean-Paul Sartre (also Simone de Beauvoir), Henri Langlois, Serge Gainsbourg among many others.

[B. Goren.]

Cemeteries are among the best places to get away from it all and reflect.

I do a lot of sightseeing around Paris these days and have made several stops lately at the Cimetiere Montparnasse.

A couple of dear friends are buried there.

That's also the final resting place for people like Charles Baudelaire, Chaim Soutine, Jean-Paul Sartre (also Simone de Beauvoir), Henri Langlois, Serge Gainsbourg among many others.

I thought some of the names you mentioned (Jean-Paul Sartre & Simone de Beauvoir) have been brought to rest in Père-Lachaise.

[B. Goren.]

Here is a list of famous cemeteries.

[brownie]

I thought some of the names you mentioned (Jean-Paul Sartre & Simone de Beauvoir) have been brought to rest in Père-Lachaise.

Sartre and de Beauvoir's graves are at the Montparnasse cemetery which is fully appropriate since they spent most of their life in the neighborhood! They share the same gravestone!

Some others buried at the Montparnasse cemetery are Samuel Beckett, Tristan Tzara, Guy de Maupassant, Jean Seberg ...

[Stereojack]

My mom and my younger brother died within a year of one another. Back then, I visited their graves often, although my mom's grave is some distance (she's buried with her mother). My brother is buried in a cemetary in my home town that we used to play in and ride our bikes in when we were kids. The first few times I visited him, I took long walks around the place, and was surprised to find a number of people I had known, some of whom I didn't know had died. I also found a number of graves of parents and relatives of schoolmates I had known years earlier. Back when my brother died in 1981, he was placed in a new area of the cemetary, and the space around him was quite sparse. In the past 25 years, it's filled in almost completely.

When my dad died three years ago, we put him with my brother, as was his plan, and I still stop in a couple of times a year, even if it's only for a few minutes.

Edited January 21, 2006 by Stereojack

[Dan Gould]

Interesting, and somewhat timely topic, as on Wednesday I learned that my uncle on my mom's side had died. He was my favorite relative growing up but we'd pretty much lost touch, to the extent that we only now learned that he'd had significant health issues and major depression over the past five years, and had in fact spent the last three years never stepping foot out of the house, nor shaving or cutting his hair, and refused all medical treatment. Very sad and very shocking news, particulary for my Mom who has lost her last blood relative. She's in Ohio for the funeral now but I don't think she'll be visiting the cemetary after this weekend.

Edited January 21, 2006 by Dan Gould

[BruceH]

When I still lived in the Boston area I used to regularly visit the Mt. Auburn Cemetary in Cambridge, mostly because it's one of the most beautiful places I know of. There's amazing history there, too, as a lot of prominent names are buried there, and the varied sculptural styles of the stones from various eras is fascinating...there's also a tower set on a hill which you can walk up inside and get a wonderful panoramic view of the surrounding area, including Watertown, Belmont, Arlington, parts of Boston. Simply one of my favorite public spaces.

[chris olivarez]

It's only fitting that cemeteries are some of the most peaceful places there are. That being said I don't think I'm going to occupy one. At this point I think I'll be scattered to the four winds.