I may be off base here, but I see so many successful working bands in Richmond VA, playing creative music. The musicians are committed to each other (as a scene even). I feel like they all have common goals. Whether they are unspoken goals, I don't know.
There is a certain level of respect. When someone is starting a new project, they hand-pick the band. They set up regular rehearsals, they set up gigs once the music is there. Some pay. Some don't. The music is still the most important result.
I wonder if the lack of cooperation in this thread is due to a lack of respect or understanding of the music at hand? Leaders are choosing the wrong musicians. I know the laptop thing is sort of a joke, but if that dude is more musical and sympathetic to your vision than the disrespectful bassist, maybe worth looking at.
The problem Allen had was a very shallow pool of musicians to choose from. Is that sort of the problem here too? If this particular bassist is in demand due to a lack of capable bassists, it sounds like he is choosing to play other music. Why? How well do you know him?