You just have to perform some of that on her first
Over here, we sort of found a way... I have my own room and do most of my listening in there - usually over speakers, but late at night I might as well use headphones. There were some moments when my girlfriend was severely pissed off, but I take her to some concerts now and then and while she'd never put on any jazz herself, she got more and more tolerant (however, I still can't tell in advance what she's going to like and what not... funky and electric stuff usually is too nervous but lyrical stuff and vocal jazz then is very boring, anything in between is worth a shot.
I think the greatest concert we saw together was Randy Weston's trio - that was so energetic and so... what a shitty word, but authentic, yes - honest, straight and direct music, played with lots of joy and love - and that worked perfectly for her, too, in a live setting (but I bet she'd find it nervous when I'd put it on at home - or boring in case of solo recordings).