Let me also offer my condolences on the death of your wife.
I've been half-way to where you are now, listening-wise. Not quite as bad, and it usually ended after a day or two. For me it had more to do with just burning out on listening than anything else. It sounds like yours might have a significant depression component. One thing that seemed to cure my occasional spells of music-aversion is that now (and for the past few years) I seem to mainly listen to music as background, as I'm doing something else, even with albums I've just bought, admittedly. So I listen to music, on average, much less intensely (and intently) than I used to.
So while I don't have those bouts of music-avoidance anymore, it would also be fair to say that compared to the way I USED to listen to music, I barely listen at all anymore, in some sense. But perhaps listening in a more relaxed way has been more mentally healthy for me. Who knows? I just hope you're doing better soon.