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Digression thread: Coherence is overrated


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The streets of Cardiff were all dug up, as part of the Government scheme for congesting traffic, and a motor cycle race had been organised, in which Duke Ellington was competing.

Duke passed us on the High Street, outside Howells Department Store. He was in his early thirties and looked very debonair, riding a bike with a kneehole desk where the handlebars should have been, his aquamarine-lined cape streaming out behind him, his black top hat perched rakishly on his head, a glass of red wine on the desk. He smiled and waved to the people as he passed, taking occasional sips of his wine.

Past Howells, the High Street was completely chocked, so Duke turned left. We followed, everyone on the bus saying, “Did you see him? Did you see him? Wasn’t he suave? Isn’t he handsome?”

At the other end of Howells, there was a huge hole, looking to be about thirty feet deep, taking up almost the whole of the road and Hayes Island Snack Bar, with just a narrow gap beside Waterstone’s bookshop, through which Duke slipped, turning right down The Hayes, still waving and smiling and sipping his wine. The gap was too narrow for the bus, however, which stopped. All the traffic that had followed us, thinking that the driver knew what he was doing, stopped behind us, so he couldn’t back out.

A ticket inspector boarded and started to give the driver a bollocking. “I didn’t think they’d put a hole this size by here,” the driver protested. “It’s blocking the main entrance to Howells. I’m taking this farther, you see if I don’t. I won’t let this go. I know a driver in Bristol who’s very familiar with this type of event…”

I woke up and found I’d overslept forty minutes.

Well, you can’t blame me, can you?

MG

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