Hey - I'M A MILLIONAIRE

[Ed S]

Just got this email this morning. I'll be hunting for a summer home in the South of France later this week. I hear St. Tropez is pretty nice but I'll be checking out a few spots so feel free to offer up some suggestions. Ta ta....

THE DESK OF THE PROMOTIONS MANAGER,

INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD

DEPARTMENT

DEAR SIR/MADAM,

Reply EMAIL: payagents@netscape.net

FINAL NOTICE OF AWARD NOTIFICATION

We are pleased to inform you of the announcement

today,11th October 2003, of winners of the E-

BUSINESS LOTTO SOUTH

AFRICA /INTERNATIONAL PROGRAMS, held on

30th September 2003 as part of our promotional draws.

Participants were selected through a computer ballot

system drawn from 25,000 names/email addresses of

individuals and companies from Africa, America, Asia,

Australia, Canada, Europe, Middle East, and New

Zealand as part of our International Promotions

Program.

You/Your Company, attached to ticket number

96-502-2315, with serial number 420-9 drew the lucky

numbers 5, 6, 10, 19, 33, 51, 55, and consequently won

in the Third Category.

You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay

out of US$1,600,000.00 in cash, which is the winning

payout for third category winners. This is from the

total prize money of US$12,800,000.00 shared among

the eight international winners in the Third category.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Your fund is now deposited with Solid Rock Finance and

Security Company insured in your name. Due to the mix

up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep

this award strictly from public notice until your claim has

been processed and your money remitted to your

account. This is part of our security protocol to avoid

double claiming or unscrupulous acts by participants of

this program.

We hope with a part of your prize, you will

participate in our end of year (2003) high stakes US$1.3

billion International Lottery. To begin your claim, please

contact your claim agent immediately;

MR. ANDREW BRISEBE

FOREIGN SERVICE MANAGER,

SOLID ROCK FINANCE & SECURITY LTD

JOHANNESBURG, S.A

TEL/FAX: +27 7-3357-0169

EFAX: 1-586-279-5258

EMAIL: payagents@netscape.net

For due processing and remittance of your prize money

to a designated account of your choice.

Remember, you must contact your claim agent not later

than 16th October 2003. After this date, all funds

will be returned as unclaimed.

NOTE: In order to avoid unnecessary delays and

complications, please remember to quote your reference

and batch numbers provided below in every one of your

correspondences with your claims agent.

REFERENCE NUMBER: FLS-ZR39-825P-4

BATCH NUMBER: 74-263-BBN

Congratulations once again from all our staff and

thank you for being part of our promotions program.

Sincerely,

THE PROMOTIONS MANAGER,

E-BUSINESS LOTTO SOUTH AFRICA.

115 NORDIX AVE. BRYANSTON, 1762

JOHANNESBURG,

SOUTH AFRICA.

N.B. Any breach of confidentiality on the part of the

winners will result to disqualification. Please do not

reply to this mail. Contact your claims agent.

And by the way, the first thing I did was dig out the family tree - so I know exactly who all my relatives are.

[jacman]

they probably will only charge you $1000 to "transfer" the funds to your bank account. of course you'll need to give them a credit card # and your bank account info.

BTW, can i borrow $20 til payday?

[Jim R]

Shit. All I got today was another offer for Viagra. Anyway... Ed, my GOOD friend, remember how I defended you on the BN board against that "Misterioso" character? That was some experience, eh? Of course, I did that of my own free will... I never expected anything in return...

[JSngry]

The Monkerena juggernaut is kinda stalled, and we could use a boost or two of capital. Interested?

[jazzbo]

My "Ugly Beauty: Monkified Bossa Nova" project is so stalled it's now constipated! Patronage would be appreciated as well. B)

[John Tapscott]

Hey Ed, congrats! Maybe you could just buy out Mosaic records and sort of like spread around the stock to Organissimo members. I'll take the JJ Johnson plus the Green and Chambers selects, if you don't mind.

BTW,on a more serious note, what a scam these things are. I've probably received four or five of these e-mails at work. They all seem to originate in Africa. The last time I e-mailed them back told them that if I ever received another e-mail from them, I would report the whole thing to the RCMP (Canadian police, who are apparently already investigating some cases). Haven't heard anything more from them. But boy, these crooks sure know how to play on people's greed.

[chris olivarez]

Ed the "More Conns and Mosaics for Chris" relief fund is in need of assistance.How about it old buddy old pal?

[BERIGAN]

Shit. All I got today was another offer for Viagra. .....

gosh, I wish I would get just one of those offers.....

[Jazzmoose]

Great news, Ed! And coincidentally, my idea for the Texas Cage Death Match between Bill O'Reilly and Michael Moore has room for only one more backer! Yep, my girlfriend found a quarter in the couch, and the neighbor's dog dug up a bottle with a nickel deposit, so there's still room for your $1,000,000 to make the difference in bringing America this great entertainment! I'll wait for your email...

[Jazzmoose]

The last time I e-mailed them back told them that if I ever received another e-mail from them, I would report the whole thing to the RCMP (Canadian police, who are apparently already investigating some cases).

Hmm. The only one I ever got was the "Nigerian Prince who wants to transfer money" scam. I emailed back my sympathy, told him of a host of financial woes and then told him I had found a way out...but I needed his help.

I guess they didn't fall for it; never heard from him.

[catesta]

Ed, are you nuts?

What part of this did you not understand?

"Due to the mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep

this award strictly from public notice until your claim has

been processed and your money remitted to your

account."

For your sake, I hope like hell the good people at E-BUSINESS LOTTO SOUTH AFRICA, are not jazz fans and do not visit this site.

Of course I take it all back if the cash is already sitting in your account.

My suggestion for the use of the money is simple. Open a strip club and offer scholarships to the dancers.

[GA Russell]

Shit. All I got today was another offer for Viagra.

LOL @ Jim!

[Jim R]

Ed, obviously this thread has caused a lot of your so-called "friends" to come out of the woodwork... But when you begin to formulate your plans, please just remember that only ONE person here posted ahead of me, and all he asked for was 20 bucks! Yeeeeah!! I've already mentioned a Hawaiian sojourn to my wife, so I'm looking forward to hearin' from ya, pal! Thanks BUD!

[Jim R]

Shit.  All I got today was another offer for Viagra.

LOL @ Jim!

Hey.... LOL "at" Jim?? Don't you mean "LOL, Jim"?

[Christiern]

Here's one I received a few months back:

NETHERLOTTO CORPORATION,

41132, NL-1007 DB AMSTERDAM,

THE NETHERLANDS.

FROM: THE DESK OF THE DIRECTOR PROMOTIONS,

INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT,

REF: EGJOJS255125600344

AWARD NOTIFICATION; FINAL NOTICE

We are pleased to inform you of the announcement of the,4TH JUly.

2003, of winners of the NETHERLOTTO CORP./ INTERNATIONAL PROGRAMS

held on 19TH MAy 2003.

You / your company, attached to ticket number 013-2316-2002-477, with

serial number A025-09 drew the lucky numbers 37-13-34-85-56-42, and

consequently won in category C.

You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of US$1,500,000.00

in cash credited to file REF NO. EGJOJS255125600344This is from total prize

money of US$28,500,000.00 shared among the nineteen international winners

in the category C. All participants were selected through a computer

ballot system drawn from 30,000 names from Australia, New Zealand, America,

Asia, Europe,USA and North America as part our International Promotions

Program, which is conducted annually.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Your fund is now deposited with a Finance and Security House and

insured in your name. Due to the mix up of some numbers and names, we

ask that you keep this award strictly from public notice until your

claim has been processed and your money remitted to your account. This is part of our security

protocol to avoid double claiming or unscrupulous acts by participants of this program.

We hope with a part of you prize, you will participate in our end of

year high stakes US$1.3 billion International lotto.

To begin your claim, please contact your claims officer immediately:

THOMAS JONKA

FOREIGN SERVICE MANAGER,

EUROSHORE FINANCIAL,

TEL: +44 774 223 3824

Fax: +44 207 681 2478

EMAIL:euroshore@financier.com

For due processing and remittance of your prize money to a designated

account of your choice. Remember, you must contact your claims officer

not later than AUGUST 30TH, 2003. After this date, all funds will be

returned as unclaimed. All correspondences to Mr.Thomas Janka,either by

fax or email,should have this email sent along with it and your reference

number clearly stated in every correspondence.

NOTE: In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please

remember to quote your reference number in every one of your

correspondences with your claims officer. Furthermore, should there be any

change of your address, do inform your claims officer as soon as possible.

Congratulations again from all our staff and thank you for being part

of our promotions program.

Sincerely,

THE DIRECTOR PROMOTIONS,

NETHERLOTTO CORPORATION.

N.B. Any breach of confidentiality on the part of the winners will

result to disqualification. Please do not reply this mail

But I think this one's my favorite:

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTES:

THIS MESSAGE IS CONFIDENTIAL &PRIVILEDGED.IF YOU ARE NOT THE INTENDED

RECIPIENT NOT MOVED TO BE A PARTY, DESTROY OR DELETE IMMEDIATELY AS

DISTRIBUTION OR DISEMMINATION IS PROHIBITED. IF YOU ARE NOT DISPOSED TO BE

A PARTNER, ANY EMBARRASSMENT CAUSED YOU IS REGRETTED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR

TIME.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

DEAR SIR/TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.,

THIS letter will surely take you by surprise but be assured that no harm or

embarrassment is meant as your personal information was sought without prior

permission from one of the international commerce Directories. We strongly

believe that as a neutral by -stander or observer of events in the world

today, you would not be biased or take sides and would do your level best to

help fight or support our course. Moreover ,the matter on hand requires

someone with your identity to resolve without delay.

My names are JOHN NESTOR , A CITIZEN of THE REPUBLIC OF LIBERIA, where the

current war has killed and maimed thousands of innocent lives of civilians

and military alike. I used to be in support and in fact was a leader of one

of the rebel groups on the side of the President, Mr. CHARLES TAYLOR who,

stubbornly refused to live power in spite of the high human and economic

casualties until a few days ago when he was forcibly driven into exile .

Just three weeks ago ,Charles Taylor called me and some loyal members of the

rebel group and entrusted some huge amount of funds {US$97 MILLION} Dollars

to us and instructed that they be moved under cover to Europe or Asia in the

name of a MR. ABUHASAN A. MOHAMMED because he could not use his real identit

y for good reasons.MOHAMMED was a business partner of MR. TAYLOR who left

Liberia when the war got serious. We that are close to Taylor knew that

Mohammed operates secret Accounts for him in Asia and Europe. But , within

us that the assignment was given , we agreed to divert part of the funds

,US$37MILLION for our personal use in future, without the knowledge of

Charles Taylor.

What we did was to package the Dollar bills in boxes, took them through the

war zone to a nearby country from where the funds were moved by Diplomatic

Courier to different destinations .But we told president Taylor that we were

attacked by the other rebel groups who made away with part of the funds .He

was happy and grateful because the remaining part got to his partner safely

and he hope that would sustain him and his family in exile . We hope to

return to our country and invest our part of the funds in humanitarian

services or businesses that would benefit the people. We believe this is a

worthier or better action which should be supported by any well- meaning

individual anywhere in the world. For your information, we made thorough

research and worked out method and means of a smooth operation and found out

that firstly, the funds could only be moved to DUBAI in UNITED ARABS

EMIRATES. This is because the laws of that region allows transaction of this

nature provided the money is NOT fake or drug funds.{Pls. find attached to

this mail a publication of the U.A.E. to verify this claim}. Fortunately,

as I write this message, the Boxes containing the funds have been moved

successfully through a Diplomatic Agency Courier Company to Dubai and

deposited as FAMILY VALUABLES AND GOLD JEWELLRIES of MR. MOHAMMED .The

boxes can only be claimed by the presentation of the proper documents to the

Security Company that would do the final clearing on behalf of the family at

the customs.

We are contacting you therefore, to do us the service of meeting or

contacting the Agency and, with the proper papers have the bags released to

you as the rightful owner on whose behalf the bags were shipped. This means

that the AIRWAY BILL & CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT will be attached with A POWER

OF ATTORNEY OR AUTHORISATION bearing your name and identity to collect the

bags which were sent by Mohammed on your behalf . In fact, a detailed

information shall be sent on agreement to safe-guard our share which shall

be 75% while you could have the balance 25% , which is US$ 9,250,000.00. for

your efforts. The remaining part would be invested or lodged in a fixed

deposit joint ACCOUNT with interest accruing to be shared by the parties

concerned until situations stabilize in my country. .Note that your

compensation or what you want is open for negotiation which I shall table

before my colleages as soon as your positive but confidential response is

received. Your private phones and email might be preferable for purposes of

confidentiality without which we cannot deal with you further than this

first contact. PLS., reach me at my private box:

john_nestor2003@go.com OR call me at tel nos: 00882 162 112 1546 as

soon as possible.

Thank you for your time.

JOHN NESTOR

[BruceH]

The whole idea is more than a little creepy...

[Jim Alfredson]

Ed... remember when they closed the BNBB down? Hasn't this been a great place to hang out? Man, I sure could use a new Apple Xserve to host the site myself and stop paying those monthly fees. Oh yes, and I would need a new Mac G5 to administer it from.

[brownie]

Last Spring, I started receiving dozens of those scam e-mails. They were all different and looking like they were coming from various countries, all in Africa.

One I saved read:

HELLEN SEKO . .

I am HELLEN SEKO , dauther of the late

President of Congo Democratic Republic former

Republic of Zaire presently there is a war going on in

my country and so my family members escaped to Morroco

my brother is now presently at Cotonou/Nigeria Border

monitoring events. Because of the present crises, my

environment is not conductive for investment and more

over, most of my father's properties and account have

been frozen by the present government of Laurent

Kabila.

Now, I want to set up a business overseas and I have

about $50 Million united state dollars set aside for

this project, I decided to contact you to help me in

setting up a business, but would not want my name or

family name to be used.

I am prepared to give you 20% of the total sum if you

can assist me in claiming this fund from a security

volt in ASIA where my FATHER(Mobutu Sese Seko)

deposited this fund before he died.

Please, do contact me immediately for us to discuss.

As soon as I hear from you, and confirm your

assistance every documents regarding to the claiming

of this fund will be handed over to you as the

familys foreign partner.

Best regards

HELLEN SEKO

One of my secret wish is to lay hands on only one percent of Mobutu's fortune.

Anyway, thought the first of these e-mails I received were fun reading and showed quite a lot of imagination. Then I grew tired of them. There was a deluge of them. And it stopped. I have not received any new one in the past weeks. The people sending these seem to be on a perpetual search for scam victims.

[maren]

FINAL NOTICE OF AWARD NOTIFICATION

Department of Redundancy Department?

[Here's a google search of "final notice award notification":http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-...rd+notification]

[Jazzmoose]

Department of Redundancy Department?

Hah! You may give "no location", but with this line, we can definitely narrow it down to the United Snakes! Probably in Sector "R"!

[ghost of miles]

Ed, I'm at work on several different jazz radio projects that could benefit immensely from just a small contribution on your behalf... say, $25,000 or so to see them through in the next year. It's not me I'm thinking of, Ed... it's the jazz community! And the music that means so much to them. I know you won't let them down.

[couw]

The Monkerena juggernaut is kinda stalled, and we could use a boost or two of capital. Interested?

good thing you reminded me, I still need to ask weizen to contribute some of his patented twists and turns.

Hey, weizen if you're reading this! You can send your bill to Ed @ the Rivièra

[catesta]

Looks like I'll be joining Ed. I got this one over the weekend.

I would like to begin by way of introduction;

My name is Rev.Mike Abraham,

a native of South Africa. I am a senior employee of

South Africa Department of Mineral and Energy Resources.

I am writing this letter to solicit your co-operation in order to

redeem an investment currently held under trust with the

Department of Mineral and Energy Resources of South Africa. The said

investment now valued at USD$26.426M (Twenty six

million, four hundred and twenty six thousand American dollars), was

originally purchased by one Mr. Dwight Ausserer, and

leased to the Transvaal Orange Mining Corporation in 1977.

Since the maturity of this contract in September 1997, several attempts

have

been made without success to contact Mr. Dwight

Ausserer or any of his close relatives, in whose favour the investment

cash

value can be paid.

My partner, who is the Account Director in the same Ministry and I,

have

initiated the process of filing a claim for this money

with the hope of having the funds transferred to you. In order to do

this,

we will swear an affidavit in the High Court of my

country stating that you are a distant cousin and next of kin to Mr.

Dwight

Ausserer the owner of the money and giving you

the legal authority to administer his estate. After which, we will file

a

>claim for this money from the Department of Energy and

Mineral Resources, indicating that you were appointed by Mr. Ausserer

to be

the beneficiary of these funds. When the claim

is approved you as the beneficiary will be paid the sum of USD$26.426M.

The money will be paid directly to any bank of your choice ; you will

have

the responsibility to ensure that my partner and I

receive 70% of the money while you keep the remaining 25% for your

assistance. The remaining 5% will be for incidental

expenses.

I want to assure you that my partner and I are in a position to make

the

payment of this claim possible provided that you can

give us very strong guarantee that our share will be secured, and that

you

>will not take advantage of our position.

Be assured that there is absolutely nothing to worry about in the view

of

this claim. It is perfectly safe with no risks involved,

and it is not subject to any inquiry, since my partner and I will be

handling the claim directly in South Africa on your behalf.

I do hope my proposal is acceptable to you. Please acknowledge the

receipt

of this letter, so that I can provide you with more

clarification about the claim and how we intend to make this transaction

beneficial to everyone involved, Please reach me at this alternative

email mikeabraham45@netscape.net for confidentiality.

yours Sincerely

Rev.Mike Abraham

[kinuta]

From this mornings mail. I get around 4 or 5 a week !!

Subject: HONOURABLE WINNER!

SUNSWEETWIN LOTTO PROMOTION

ALFONSTRAAT B56 1002 B5 AMSTERDAM

NETHERLANDS.

FROM: THE DESK OF CINDY FRED THE INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE, AWARD DEPARTMENT,

REF: OY/2551256003/22

BATCH: 14/0017/IPD

RE/AWARD NOTIFICATION; FINAL NOTICE.

We are pleased to inform you of the announcement today 13th of October winners 2003 0f the SUNSWEETWIN LOTTO PROMOTION LOTTERY/INTERNATIONAL PROGRAMMS held on 21st August 2003. Your company, attached to ticket number 025-1146-1992-750, with serial 21

13-22 drew the lucky numbers 13-15-22-37-39-43, and consequently won the lottery in the third category. You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of US$1.2million in cash credited to file ref: OY/25511256003/22.

This is from total amount US$20,400,000.00 shared among the seventeen international winners in this category. All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from fifteen million names from Australia, Newzealand, America, Europe, No

rth America, and Africa as part of international promotions program, which is conducted annually.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Your funds are now deposited with a security & finance firm insured your name. Due to the mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep this award strictly from public notice until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to your a

ccount.

This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming or unscrupulous acts by participants of this program. We hope with the part of your prize, you will participate in our end of year high stakes US$1.5billion international lottery.

To begin your claim, please contact me immediately on my email address for information of your mandated claims agent for due processing and remittance of your price to designated account of your choice.

Remember all prizes be claimed not latter than 30th of October 2003. After this date all funds will be returned as unclaimed.

Note: In other to avoid unnecessary delay and complications, please remember to quote your reference and batch numbers in everyone of your correspondences with your agent. Furthermore, should there be any change of your address, do inform your claims ag

ent as soon as possible.

CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN from all our staff and thank you for being part of our promotions program.

Sincerely

CINDY FRED.

[ghost of miles]

What a fool I am! I got one of these and just, ah, deleted it. Guess I won't be joining you guys in fatcat land...