Bill Nelson

"Some assembly required", for the above.

I'm not buying into the current millennials who employ mannered croaks and coarse vocal affects to disguise their lack of actual dues-paying 'road time'. Such creds don't just 'arrive' a year or two out from the parental nest.

Those dry-cracked, throat-scratched vocals usually indicate years of road-weary existence. Young millennial, please tell us how hard life has been.

My kvetch with recent Tone Poets extends beyond Kevin Gray's cutting -- to the triple-shift pressing activity at RTI. In the last two years, my returns-to-keepers ratio has been 3-to-1, which I attribute to oversight in quality control at RTI due to the overwhelming demand for limited-edition colored vinyl for every Record Store Day and the flurry from new indie labels. My returned TPs merely join the pool of many which are absorbed by parent Universal without apology, concern, or corrective measures.

The above jacket artwork could've been used for Ayn Rand's 'The Fountainhead'.

The above 'Kenton Presents' is my nomination for Worst Mosaic Cover. It begs for the return of covers with black-and-white photos. Of course, I bought it anyway.

As a frequent seller at Atlanta record shows, trying to move country LPs was the kiss of death. The only interest was for hot guitar pickers and buyers might offer $5-10 for a good one. Black music -- jazz, soul, funk -- would always sell.

'Lovesick' is my favorite mid-60's jazz LP of Jackie & Roy. It was their last album for Verve. Afterwards, their manager convinced them to chase radio hits with the wretched rock-oriented 'Grass', a one-shot on Capitol. A four-year recording hiatus followed. (Dana, their 10-year-old daughter, might be the one perched in the tree clutching a small dog.)

Perception did have unexpected commercial success in early '73, when they leased the pop single, 'Dancing In the Moonlight', by the U.S. rock band King Harvest, from the French Musidisc label. 'Dancing' went to # 13 and the hit single undoubtedly caused a distribution problem for Perception. A hurriedly assembled King Harvest LP for Perception went nowhere and the band became a one-hit wonder.

You take the one with bangs, I'll take the one in the turban.

Nearly five hours with Hazel Barnes can break most walls of resistance. Hazel's hair style is severely Keely Smith and her overall vibe is like a strict school librarian. You know, with a sour-face of constant disapproval and such conservative dress -- when she crosses her legs you can hear the sound of rubber stretching.

"Composer Mark Spencer" appears as the final credits roll at 4:55:15 -- the proverbial long trip to the well.

While we're on the subject of the Broadway musical, 'How To Succeed in Business', there's a brilliant lyric stanza inside the song, 'Coffee Break': "If I can't make three daily trips, where shining shrine benignly drips, and taste cardboard between my lips, something within me dies."

All the cats whose royalties he copped can finally see him in hell.

Don't ask me why, but I've got the 45-rpm single, Capitol 5503. It's titled, 'The Lurch' by Ted Cassidy as Lurch (with the music of Gary Paxton). Until now, I never knew the dance moves, which reminds me of leaving the bar after getting shipwrecked.

The above texts from Verve are so thick with bullshit, larded heavily with name-dropping. Why do any of us need to view these exercises in written excretion?

Gene Lees takes the reader inside his coterie of singers and musicians -- making you feel part of the inner circle. While the ride makes you glad to be invited, it soon rubs off as smug and ingratiating. Still, I've kept six of his books for my occasional drop-ins to Lees' intimate parties.

The 26:30 track, 'Casinha Pequenina', is the 'raison d'etre' for me. At midpoint, it enters a state of total exhilaration which would be the envy of Frank Zappa and perhaps Sun Ra.

While these All Platinum cheap repros kept the record titles in stores de fucto, the vinyl itself was flimsy (see: RCA Dynaflex), often warped, and with pressing bubbles. Adding in the thin cardboard LP jackets with bastardized cover art and you had a product barely worth the $1.98 sticker price. Given the connection to Roulette, any artist/composer asking for royalties would be greeted with, "You got some kind of PROBLEM, buddy?"

Santana (same year as Woodstock) Richie Havens (James Cotton Band opened) Arlo Guthrie Sly & the Family Stone (same year as Woodstock) Ten Years After (Blood, Sweat &Tears on the same bill at '69 Newport Jazz Fest) Johnny Winter (the following night at '69 Newport Jazz)

Just be sure to leave it in the shrink wrap for future resale.

"My bald spot is actually a solar panel for a sex machine."

Next door is a Pomeranian which frequently tempts me to violate my local city gun ordinance.

Yusef Lateef - 'Live at Pep's' (in Philly). Grant Green and Lonnie Liston Smith recorded separate LPs 'Live at Club Mozambique' (in Detroit).

Barbara Moore was the singer on the Roger Webb Sound's 'Vocal Patterns'. Here's one track which qualifies for entry in TTK's 'Now Sound' or 'Swinging Jet Set':