Your turn to vex the gods.
I shall do what a 10-year-old client of mine once did at school. He got permission to use the bathroom, and when he returned, he was wearing his clothes backwards (i.e., buttons and fly in the back, shoes on the opposite foot). This alarmed the teacher and his mother so much that they insisted I have a serious talk with him. Our conversation was short and to the point. I asked him if what they said was true. He nodded, "yes". I then said, "Did you put all of your clothes on backwards?" He took a few seconds, and with a sly grin he replied, "Well, not all of them". Convinced that he had exercised proper foresight and taken the necessary precautions to guard against (very) personal injury, I proudly announced, "You sir, are a genius!"
So be forewarned all ye on Mount Olympus, for this very day I shall don my garments retrograde and contrariwise in defiance. Be so vexed!