Obviously, you are not alone, Hardbopjazz...
My wife's love of jazz is restricted to Diana Krall and the Getz/Gilberto CD. (In fact, she bought her own copy of the Getz, because she "couldn't find mine) on the carefully organized shelves...go figure!) She likes a few other things, but they must be mellow, relaxed, and (her words) "not crazy".
I'm lucky in that our work hours are different, so I have a four to five hour block in the afternoon when I have the house to myself for jazz, "weird movies", etc. It works out.
Of course, when we're both here together, we compromise. She plays her music, and I shut up. Although I must admit, I've begun to really dig the Steve Roach stuff...