I agree with your concluding take on human nature, which deeply informs my faith, and I'm fine with "troubled youth" being the operative term for her. But what you call "taking sides" is to me an assignment of relative, not absolute, culpability (they both have it in absolute terms, there's no "good guy" here per se), but while they both bear blame, it is not equal blame, or anything close to it, in my eyes. I probably have a different line of sight on this than almost anyone else here, and don't really expect many here to understand mine (getting to the truth of abuse is in many ways painfully counterintuitive based on the surface appearance), though some others arrive at the same conclusions as me (and others don't). But certainly a meaningful discussion going on here about this, and I'm thankful for that.