I'm very sorry for your loss, VB. The loss of a parent is a tough thing to deal with, and the poor behavior of the hospital staff obviously hasn't provided much comfort.
My mom passed in '94, and I think about her every day- sometimes I even dream about talking to her (those are great dreams). I think losing a loved one is something from which you never completely recover, but learn to live with over time. I always try to think about what my mom would want me to do, and that always comforts and guides me.
I'm glad you've chosen to share this- I think finding the words to describe your feelings is a healthy step in coping with a loss like this.
Best wishes.