Wow - at the opposite extreme from the Is Music Essential thread. Classical, too?
My moods definitely color my perceptions of and responses to recorded music. I'd guess that's a big part of your being on the outs with the whole thing.
Wouldn't hurt to take a break, go outside, walk in the sun and listen to the birds. They're full of surprises. Wind through trees is another sound that rarely fails to move me this time of year. Also wind chimes, distant traffic, water over stones, night sounds, etc., etc., etc.
I guess what I'm trying to suggest is that, although you are having negative emotional responses to recorded music at this point in your life, don't forget that there is still great pleasure to be had by the sheer act of deep, relaxed, and attentive listening to whatever is happening around you at any given moment. It's also a good way to forget yourself for a while. Get lost in found sound. You might have to drive somewhere to find a good listening spot but it's worth the effort.