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My dad passed away today...


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Thank you again to everyone who has chimed in. I really appreciate the support. I have felt my dad's presence quite strongly this week. I am extremely sad, but I am trying to remember the great relationship he and I shared.

I picked up some of his tools today. I have two jobs that were already on the books that I need to finish for him. I then need to write a letter to his clients and let them know I am continuing the business. I just hope I can do it as well as he did.

Jim, I hope you have an easier time of this than I am. My Dad and I worked on our motorcycles together. Fixing things was how we bonded. When he died, my Mom gave me a whole bunch of his tools. Every time I pick one up and start to work with it, I think of my Dad. It really makes it hard to get the work done sometimes.

But I will tell you this, our Dads would want us to use those tools. My Dad was proud that I could fix things like he could. Sometimes I think he was more proud of that than anything else I did.

Kevin

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Jim

So sorry to read about your loss. My condolences to you and your family.

Kevin and Jim S really hit the nail on the head regarding the gift you've received from your father and how proud he'd be to know that you are carrying on the business. The closest thing I have experienced to the passing of a parent is the passing of my grandfather - who lived with us as I was growing up. It was so tough emotionally when he died, but I can tell you that it's been almost 20 years now - and there is not a week that goes by or a family gathering during which a fond memory/story/laugh does not surface. The love and respect we felt for that guy lives on until today. As Jim mentioned - love is a gift - and he gave us a gift that works until this day in being part of the glue that keeps our family together. I know how tough it will be, but I hope that the memories and love that you have for your father will carry you through the rough times and eventually enrich your life for yearrs to come.

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Kevin, thank you for the story.

Today I practiced tuning on Joe's piano. It took me about three hours and though I'll let Joe have the final word, I think it sounds pretty good. My dad's technique is something he came up with (adapting other techniques to his own style... that was his mantra) and its relatively quick to set the temperment. I'd like to say my skill helped today, but Joe's piano is a nice Yamaha that "knows" where it wants to be. All I had to do was get it there.

I'm using my dad's tools. I don't know how to describe the experience. I can hear him talking to me if I relax and let my ears guide me. It's almost like playing jazz; relax, let your ears communicate directly with your hands. If I'm not sure I can hear my dad say "try again" or "it's a little narrow".

I'm still in shock. I've been having nightmares lately. I totally fucked up the key job we were supposed to do together the day he died. I attempted it yesterday, but botched it pretty bad. I had to order another set of keytops and I'll start over. Live and learn. I wish he was here to teach me more. I keep thinking he'll call and say, "Hey, Jimmer!"

I miss him.

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I keep thinking he'll call and say, "Hey, Jimmer!"

I miss him.

That "expecting a phone call" thing happened to me after Michelle (my wife) died. It was always a strange moment, hearing the phone ring, thinking it was her, then realizing, nope. I had nightmares for a year as well, though probably of a very different nature from yours.

Just seeing his toolcase there, with the family photos on the inside of the lid brought it all home to me again. Obviously it's on a whole other level for you.

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  • 1 month later...

Today (Thursday, July 9th) I finally finished the last piano job my dad left behind, the one we were supposed to do together. I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. As I mentioned before, I messed up the first attempt at replacing the keytops on a set of spinet piano keys. I ordered a new set and different glue and tried again. I hand-shaped each one and they came out looking really nice.

The other part of the job was replacing all the worn bushings, which, when I arrived today, I was surprised to find had already been taken out of the piano by my dad. After putting new bushings in, the keys go in and then I had to level and dip them. That basically means make them all at the same height relative to each other and the right height in order to "feel" right when playing. Then I had to regulate the action because of the new bushings and spacers. Then I tuned the piano.

The client was thrilled. It took me 5 hours, but I am proud of the work I did. I'm sure my dad would've done it in half the time or less, but I was literally finding my way as I went along.

I've got three free upright pianos waiting to be delivered. My garage is getting a new roof (one that doesn't leak) and once they are in there I'll spend the rest of the year tearing them apart and rebuilding them. I'm looking forward to it, actually.

Today was two months since my dad passed.

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Way to go Jim!

Sure your father would have gotten through it faster, but he was well practiced at it. 5 hours sounds like pretty damn good time given what you had to do (...said by someone that has only gone so far as removing and then replacing keys on a clarinet).

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  • 4 months later...

Today would've been my dad's 68th birthday.

I'll have a glass of scotch and toast your dad's birthday and memory tonight.. One very cold winter night I stayed at his place on a trip back from either Baker's or Cliff Bells and when I went to my room there was a lovely bottle of scotch and a scotch glass and a bottled water waiting for me on the night stand. Your dad was the quintessential host and a great hang.. I sure miss him.

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Today would've been my dad's 68th birthday.

I'll have a glass of scotch and toast your dad's birthday and memory tonight.. One very cold winter night I stayed at his place on a trip back from either Baker's or Cliff Bells and when I went to my room there was a lovely bottle of scotch and a scotch glass and a bottled water waiting for me on the night stand. Your dad was the quintessential host and a great hang.. I sure miss him.

....nice! :tup

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Today would've been my dad's 68th birthday.

I'll have a glass of scotch and toast your dad's birthday and memory tonight.. One very cold winter night I stayed at his place on a trip back from either Baker's or Cliff Bells and when I went to my room there was a lovely bottle of scotch and a scotch glass and a bottled water waiting for me on the night stand. Your dad was the quintessential host and a great hang.. I sure miss him.

beautiful memory!

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Today would've been my dad's 68th birthday.

I'll have a glass of scotch and toast your dad's birthday and memory tonight.. One very cold winter night I stayed at his place on a trip back from either Baker's or Cliff Bells and when I went to my room there was a lovely bottle of scotch and a scotch glass and a bottled water waiting for me on the night stand. Your dad was the quintessential host and a great hang.. I sure miss him.

beautiful memory!

What conn said. I never met the man, and your memory makes me miss him as well.

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