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Well "White Chrismas" was a request on air. But I think Charlie Parker was hip enough he would play any tune with nice changes so you can blow on them. That was Bird, the tune was just a blowing vehicle. So if Bird was in a mellow mood and I´ve heard he had his mellow sides also, he just wanted to be kind and anyway he did his very personal version of that tune. And really: Both White Chrismas and Slow Boat have changes any bop freak can blow on them.
I´m not a professional musician and do only some club dates, sometimes I´m lucky I have occasions to play or jam with good professional musicians also, but I´d say for myself if I´d get a request "White Chrismas" or "Slow Boat" I´d be happy to please the person who asked for it.
As for "Feelings", yeah I´ve heard a lot of guys refuse it, but what can happen worse than do a short version, I think a slow bossa or something like that, on it just not to hurt the "feelings" of someone. If it´s a club gig and you can be flexible, and it´s the last set, why not. If we are on pressure of time and most folks came to hear other stuff, it might be impossible......
Anyway, at least in my case it´s a question of age: When I was young and more arrogant, maybe I declined a request in a more direct and harsh manner, but now, it´s more important for me to have happy faces in the audience and not to hurt anybody´s feeling if possible. if we can manage to include the request without completely destroying the general conception , there´s nothing wrong I think.....